M.Sc. B.A. Relate Cert C.C.
Registered Counsellor BACP & UKRC
Coast Road, Rhyl, LL18 3PL
07551 529 386
As a Relate qualified counsellor I have experience working with couples wanting support with various crises in their lives together.
Crises occur at all stages of life together, and can greatly damage a couple's relationship, whether that is moving in together or dealing with children leaving home or retirement.
I work with couples:
When you love someone you give hugely of yourself.
You invest in your relationship emotionally, physically, materially and on many other levels.
Often this mutual sharing is compared to an emotional "bank account" you open up together when you first get together.
People give freely when they fall in love and it feels mutual.
In happy times you have "credit" to draw on which can help you through.
In prolonged tough times it can feel like there’s nothing left to sustain you in your relationship and it you can feel hurt or resentful if you feel you’re investing and your partner has stopped, or it can feel like a stalemate, where no one is making deposits.
Sometimes it can feel so painful you wonder if you should "close the account" or "cut your losses".
It can be scary, painful and frustrating that the relationship you have nurtured and taken care of, often for years feels like it is "dying or seriously ill".
Having problems is normal.
Life will throw problems at you.
How you get through troubled times together is often a good indicator of how strong your relationship is.
Troubles test your love relationship and getting through them together tends to strengthen you as a couple.
Relationship counselling helps unpack the life history of the relationship, taking into account various perspectives- from each half of the couple to children to extended family…with a view to understanding and to get perspective on how difficulties arose and ideas for what can be done about them.
Counselling will invite you to reflect on the past to make sense of the "here and now" and hope to work to improve the future.
People often arrive at counselling after they have exhausted every other avenue.
They will usually have tried everything they can individually or together to tackle tricky conversations and find their own solutions.
Normally people initially find it a bit strange to discuss their often very intimate problems with someone who is a stranger to them.
Counselling does not tell you what to do or take your control and choice away for you.
If life can create blocks for you which mean your own resources are overstretched and your resilience depleted, counselling can help you access your problem solving, open up possibilities, change perspectives or help you reposition yourself to the problem.
Relationship counselling works in collaboration with you to create the changes you want.
Relationship counselling can be accessed individually or as a couple.
You may want to reflect on your relationship yourself, sometimes to work out how you feel in order to have a conversation with your partner.
Sometimes couples prefer to attend counselling together and couple counselling works to enhance this desire for better communication.
Your counsellor is not a judge, and will work hard to remain neutral, not taking sides or imposing her opinion.
Counselling is not about who is right or wrong, although it does hope to help people take personal responsibility.
Several versions of a story will always exist, depending on who you ask.
Counselling will work to help you understand subjective meaning and how they impact on you and your partner.